once a point a time in a dream i saw i was a kid who dreamed of amazing things. To be a hero in the world, a help to all, and a friend to every person i would ever meet. Then around 9 i woke up from this dream and began to see life in a way that no longer amazed but terrifed me. It was a dark and lonely place a land were nothing was what it seemed. those who confessed to love me were the ones who hurt me the most often and worst. In hideing my mind and heart in the shadows of this reality i with drew from people that i had once welcomed and admired. were was i to find kind and friendly faces in a place were everyone wore mask or painted there faces. How would a child sirvie such a tricky atomsphere having to learn what to say and when to lie to those that i was  suppose to love and how to tell the  truth to those who would not care.  Living in the shadows always allowed me to be said enough not to draw attention but yet never happy enough to seem out of place. Living in the gray. The family is fine we're all happy here but at night when the rage and anger comes the pain of abuse shatters my psyic. This is not a story of how offual my childhood was or was not. Its a telling of how i came to grow warm in the shadows on the freng of socity and classes. The cool shadows that once kept me alert with an watchful eye wondering what my be lerking with in wanting to devower me. In time i found that all that lerks in the shadows are those things that are displaced and forgotten. This is what had frightened me all those years. being the one that people forgot of displace. Once i embrassed the idea that i could slip through most of the cracks and be seen and never understood saw but never really thought of. Then i began to have a pecea of mind at the lose at a piece of my heart.  angels are those lost between worlds knowing that there loyalty will only befollwed by more sirvece. my loyalty only seems to lead to more heart ach. If hell could promise the end of pain i would gladly turn it all in for some relefe. thought i know my lot and my place and after all i have made friends with things that hide here in the dark surprizing what one can learn when they turn off the light and embrass the chill that settles around the heart.