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I said "Lilith look at me."
She didnt
She just went along the river
Infinite sparks in the air
"I can see them Lilith!" look at me
She didnt
She edged away

I walked back to the town
with a big burden in my shoulders
tears in my eyes
"You will not come back, will you?"

I remember the fish
I remember the pebbles
I remember every words of you

We have been passing through a path
She had pointed the way
towards a cave
It seemed dangerous and dark
filthy and dodgy
"Walk in!" she said.
I could not say I cant
She never let me do so
I said, I will.
And I saw her walking along the river
And saw the sparks in the air
I screamed "Where are you going Lilith!!?"
"...without me."
She mumbled some words
with the same rhyme
I call them Lilith's rhymes
I was paralyzed
while she was walking along that river
and the sparks were flying over my face

"Will you be back?!
Shall I wait for you here?"
She mumbled the same rhymes
same lines
same poems
"I am addicted to listen to you Lilith."

She mumbled
this time without rhymes
and lines
she said
"Stop fucking self-pitying
leave me alone
there is nothing I can do for you
only knowledge you need is that
everything is you
live your life to its extend
enjoy it."

Fuck the world Lilith
I love you
do i need a life to love you
if there is another surface i can stand on
take me there
if it is a cave i will walk in without fear
if it is a fountain i will listen to it with all my ears open
and all my voices silent

"Love the penguins on the street"
she said, "I love."

Since you left me
I am like a tourist on the earth
Nothing but a penguin on the street
Like an outsider
everything she has is in a small suitcase

will you be back
will you be back
will you be back
will you be back
will you be back
will you be back

She said
"You dont need me"

I dont need you
Never did
I love you
have always loved

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Once I saw around
Through everybody's eyes
I saw all the minds of us
Through everybody's minds

Then I saw a memory
in which lies
everything's lives
All the joys and laughs
All the doubts and lies
inside, still, but alive

Nothing was a new
Nothing was a past
I was inside of what was inside

I was there
where there is the moment
that has the all
I was there
where nothing exists

I mumbled:
Remember the fish
that saw the ocean
from outside
I was that fish
looking at me.

 

 

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Do you sit here alone in the dark and wonder where you are?

Do you every night wish upon that same bright star?

Are you here nor there, but really everywhere?

Are you afraid and into the darkness you stare?

Can you some day imagine your life without the tears and pain?

Can you move on with your life knowing that nothing will ever be the same?

How do you stop the tears that never seem to end?

How do you, a broken heart somehow mend?

Why does the light fade so quickly, but the darkness never goes away?

Why does closing my eyes scare me, as here alone I lay?

Who kisses me before I go to bed each night?

Who wraps their arms around me and holds me tight?

Will you answer all these questions that no one else can seem to do?

Will you always know that I will never stop loving you?

What will tomorrow bring and will you be watching from above?

What will become of me without your unconditional love?

Where do I look when I need to know that you are here with me?

Where do I look for your smiling face to see?

Is it okay to smile knowing that you are not here?

Is it okay to someday be happy knowing that you are no where near?

Was it you that came and brought that smile to my face that day?

Was it you that came and whispered to me everything will be okay?

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MY HEAD SOMETIMES STRUGGLES TO FIND THE WORDS THAT MY HEART CANT SAY BUT EVENTUALLY I KNOW HEARTS REASONS WILL FIND AWAY SO WHAT IS HEARTS REASONS IF REASONS DOESNOT KNOW AND HOW CAN I CHANGE MY SAILS IF THE WIND DOESNT BLOW AND HOW DO I ADJUST TO A LIFE THAT CAN NEVER BE AND WHERE DO I GO WHAT IS MY DESTINY. HOW DO I SHINE WHEN ALL IT DOES IS RAIN AND HOW DO I SHOW HURT OVER PAIN I AM WHO I AM IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE THERE IS MORE TO MY LIFE THAN WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE SO WHY DO YOU JUDGE ME IF YOU ONLY SEE THE OUTSIDE OF ME MY HEART IS UNCONCIOUS AND I FEEL I CANT BREATHE AND SOMETIMES I EVEN GET WEAK IN THE KNEES YOU LEFT ME IN A WORLD SO COLD AND UNFASHIONED I THOUGHT BEING APART OF YOU MEANT FOREVER WOULD BE EVERLASTING.

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