I am resurrecting poems I wrote a few years ago when I belonged to a writing site that unfortunately closed and left many of us without our tightly knit, albeit world strewn, community. Here is the first one I have moved...
Rooted in the Past
I am from grainfields, Red River carts bumping into Tent Town, arduous ocean tossing crossing from the land of bagpipes, London tailor shops, & wicked Swedish stepmothers to those virgin homesteads of the true north strong and freewhich turned out to be gnarled roots pulled like decaying teeth from soil dotted with backbreaking boulders that must be rolled and cursed before rows of winter wheat wave in summer breeze promising full belly satisfaction for two horses, a dozen hens & a single cow and pig.
I am from cherry dappled pipesmoke curling round lazy afternoons, Shetland ponies named for great Indian warriors, melting moment marathons to Cotton’s General Store for that six pack of Orange Crush & begging for a lazy return home cradled in Grandad’s grey tank with seats reeking of old tobacco and summer sweat.
I am from front row seats of moth suicide under the marquee one heavy handed August nights when my room became a prison of stifling flannel sheets & both sides of the pillow scorched my sunburn cheeks.
I am from prayers (pleasedearjesusforgiveusnowandatthehourofourdeathamen) that aunties and grannies arrive before I sleep and God protect them in the swirl of snow dancing the treacherous miles from here to there and inbetween. And wasn’t that reindeer hooves stamping the roof? Don’t tease me with any scientific explanation of icy shingle nails screaming from Winter’s hostile bite. I’d recognize those tooth-marked carrot stubs as Rudolph’s anywhere & look how Santa drained that tumbler of Lamb’s Navy with a dash of Coke.
I am from Thunderhill & tumbling rides on runaways racing for home, hunting out our promiscuous Beagle’s litter before all dozen drowned in a gunnysack.
I am from Madge Lake Sundays and one July terrorized by nuns doling out plastic Virgin Marys with praying hands and a single droning Father preparing us for the Body of Christ. Flash forward to one stifling Sunday when the choking host threatened to weld itself to the roof of my mouth for eternity everlasting so help me Jesus. The unmerciful veil rasping raw my neck, the pious Witch in the pillbox hat behind & her muttering threats: ‘sit still quit fidgeting ’ & my mother nowhere close, while my atheist unbaptised father scratched concentric circles in summerfallow, uninterested in this eldest daughter’s ascension.
I am from cold cucumber sandwiches with butter and salt & pepper and the ‘bastardly barley dust’ sifting down my neck, worse than any tulle torture from 1st Communion Sunday, Pixie Stix, giant jawbreakers & marshmallowy strawberries: three pieces for a penny from mammoth jars at Reiches, 4H at Nell’s kitchen and the roundup cookie cookoff and five times braving the Bullet at the Midway until I walk like a beer garden rodeo clown with his upside downside sort of stumble.
I am from Princess & PeGe and knock-kneed calves & boots left lost in the mud. Rows upon rows of stolen carrots wiped on sleeves to crunch in double time. Mustn't forget the lipstain of Raspberries washed away with lime Freshie slowly sipped from countless quart sealers.
I am from manic rooster attacks and turkey trots, late night Mole burial in the vegetable garden complete with choir and head-bowing mourners. My Gran shaking in her grief while granary flames lit the Back 40- so certain Grandad shared Uncle Gordon’s grave. Nothing could stop her wails until he stumbled up the lane & her tears turned to the relief of rage.
I am from flashlights under cover at night & tinny transistors and their talk shows squashing my loneliness. Two week silences and countless quivering quiet dinners, shrinking in shadows praying to remain unnoticed, but dolefully summoned by garden weeding threats to listen up and shake in my boots.
I am from summer escapes from Alcatraz, cannonballs melded with side-splitting bellyflops at Phantom pier where tye-dye ruled Summer & smelter smoke choked the life from mountain ash at 195 Wright Ave. And wishing myself 16.
this is a small taste of my poetry: note i wrote this last night as a fell asleep
the gates of hell part 1
death comes arising from the darkness pullling me down like quicksand pulls a man down tugging me pulling me i cant live with it
so i take what it mine as i lay there dreaming what my life has become i live to die and i die to live but i cant do them all without the living i take what is mine and i end what is int but i take what i love with me to hell
For you only I love, for you only I hate
Decide you are not a Prophet
Decide you are not a God's reject
It is more I love, all the more I hate.
It is for you only time passes by
It is for you only kisses fly
The heart roars for more you never abide by.
The sky never appears big
When you leave my love behind my back
You rest drowned as ever in your empty world
Your footsteps fumble in all corners
Your veiled wisdom never stokes fire
Shallow feelings surround your universe
As though you have shed blood in soliloquy
Not to regain the days and nights gone by
Dewdrops snatch your little world
When I retreat back to my isles of forlorn hope.
I have built a nest for you
I have sung solemnly at your withdrawing shadows
You only choose to be the empress of the lost throne
Stormy petrel never dares to blow his conch
When mysteries pile on mysteries on a devil's eyebrows
You seem to have forgotten the untold fairy tales
You seem to have dared to cross swords with the winds
Nothing has betrayed your somnambulist dreams
The dreams that have closed the walls on you.
I will wait for the eternity to unveil your charm
That charm will demystify your soul's silence
My love will never dethrone your empire of violence
If you ever solemnly kiss the dust of my pains.
Where Shall I go? Where will you go?
Where is the space to open up for vastness?
It is love that has carried you along
It is love that will float you back to cosmic rhythm
Love has blossomed in thousand flowers in my nest
If you swallow the nectar of life and death
What can beat you in your desires for love?
Lovelorn hearts can battle in warring togetherness
Togetherness is whispering in all fleeting moments
Shadows of light has overcast the long lost darkness
And it is you who can breathe solace into eternity.
I ache
to say I love you.
I ache with the terrifying
suggestion that perhaps
we were not supposed to take
two separate paths.
You've left me empty;
I've left you changed.
I miss you so much
that sometimes I could swear
someone is tearing my heart from my chest.
I ache beyond expression.
It pains me to ask
if you will ever agree
that the only imperfection
between you and me
was that we could never say
I love you.
The last time we met I noticed
the bright red flowers in your hair,
Milk soft skin radiating through
heaven’s gate I wanted to kiss
your tender hand.
Knees buckling from the sweet scent
of your perfume, our bodies locked like
ascending larks, We kissed and ran as fast
as we could like two kittens playing with
a ball of yarn.
heavenly earth
galley of angels
silent battlefield
Capricious soul
dust to dawn
ashes to asteroids
mortal men
molded clay
breath of life
sacred love
burst of light
yet, i stumble,
when i fall
peach winds rest
as bashful orange
autumn leaves land
on hollowed ground
the shy sycamore tree
shakes its branches free
from the autumn cold,
embraces me with open arms
still, we find a narrow
path alone a winding road
without a sound or foot
planted firmly on the ground
on a dark cold
starry night
the black rose
appeared in sight
bending to
the rays of light
honeysuckle stars delight
earth, wind, fire and ice
yes, black rose, you ignite
Gallant ship
all hands on deck,
men with great courage
to hoist the sails
when stormy waves
crash against thy ship
great body of water,
you possess me,
i worship thee,
i am drench in thee,
unveil yourself
show me how to
mastered thee,
break me free
my dark wine sea
you captured me
The waves pull me in under and my heart gives a sudden stutters in fear, just like your voice sounding so near.
Moving in familiar arms I am flying this welcome change of fate, the dark it comes, but I am not afraid those ocean eyes with their intent stare keep me locked in the presence of something rare.
This is from the depths of my fiery soul this is my desperate cry to the world.
Don't open your arms oh so wide if you're just going to feed me lies. Don't tell me to put down my barriers when you're the reason they're up.
There is a difference between trust and lust and just between the two of us... I take back all the words exchanged just to make my walls stand strong again.
This is like a candle, the flame is dancing from what it needs to come to, intill it's put out... left in utter and complete darkness, intill it ignites again.
when the tears come, they slide down my face. each one sliding, slowly, at a steady pace. i can never make them stop, these never ending tears. why do i cry? i don't know, it's not from sorrow, pain, or fears. its just something that happens, no matter how nice the day. don't know what to do, its always this way. it makes me weep to lay awake at night, to think of an answer, feels like i never sleep. i think my dreams miss me, i know i miss them, my only escape. when the tears come, they slide down my face. each one sliding, slowly, at a steady pace
Hi My names Erin and I am 11 years old and I love to write poems at home and at school Ilike to write all diffrent kinds of poems like funny poems feeling poems persanol poems and imaginitive. this is one of the poems I rote
The Blue Balloon
one day I saw a blue balloon it grew an, grew an, grew an, grew.
I sat down on the seat beside it an, then off it flew.
I grabed on to the peace of string tied on to the end.
An, then it beganto bend.
I got to the end of the road an, then I saw a toad
Razor sharp A secret hard so find, Something oh so despised Familiar to her heart. name on her lips Engraved on her wrist. Her eyes grow heavy with emotion Embarking on those words exchanged. Putting on her mask of mistaken happiness. Slowly slipping away inside Alone in the absence of her forgotten self. Forgetting the words said Putting her into shambles...
Stupidity taken over Finally realizing he doesn't care He let her ruin herself Even after he told her he never would Breaking the only promise she believe in She’s gone now, lost in her pain She calls out his name, the only one she’s ever loved Before tilting her head back and chugging from the forbidden bottle Fingers tracing the knife in her hand. Her tears fall down, hitting the ground. Never to be known, never to be found. Crashing around before it settles in, Falling into the smooth, sticky liquid. A little to late, he comes around, Mouthing the truth to himself, Only to realize the time has past, For she is gone. And they both have lost something real...
I will let you down For I let down myself. Full of lost and hurt Falling in love again It feels so real The only thing left I want to feel You hold my heart in your hands And I let you down. Listen as I employ my words, Hurting you and myself And understand I don’t know what to do I’m lost and confused, In this sea of hopelessness My body trembles as you hold me I cry as I realize it’s never going to with stand Feel it burn Learn from our mistakes, trust yourself As I’ve grown to. You carried me through this battle But I couldn’t bare the remaining pain, You kept me going on for so long. My hurting was never gone And know this dream I’ve had From the beginning of time… You made become true. Leaving the only memory I have left As I’ve slipped away...
Empty room don’t tell me your lies Your voice echoes in my mind I can’t stop your voice. My head pounds as you tell me the truths on life How time is short and how screwing up and avoiding the future Won’t help any, but make this perilous journey, more difficult than before. Oh empty room. You make it so hard to understand, You’re test and your trials, Screaming, but receiving no answer. You must know…or why would be testing one so? I will find the right words and I will go off into this bright and frightening world For empty room, it’s the only way I can escape you, And your dark and powerful wonders...
A glance in the mirror tells her all she needs to ever know The tears falling down, no stopping now ‘You are a failure You’re never going to make it. You’ve fucked up your life Everything done and everything said. He doesn’t really love you, And it’s sad to say… That you love him.’ Falling to ground clutching the bleeding arm All her dreams, her undying faith Are gone...
A poem inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning...enjoy!
Not Death, But Love By: Shauna Hayes McShane
Blackness descends, or is it a deep, deep red? Grasping at me, squeezing my heart so tight. Flailing, ever falling, In this dark, dark night. He says to me, "Do you know who it is?" "No," I say, but then I guess--"Death?" He laughs softly, his voice not betraying, And then he has left. The swirls of darkness, of deep, dark red, It's hot in here, oh so humid in this place, I fan myself, hand fluttering, Wanting out of this suffocating place. My heart is pounding, a beat like staccato, Leaving me gasping for every breath... He's back, his voice a low growl, He strokes my bare shoulders, Whispering "Not Death." I look behind, and finally see his face, And look at the blue, blue sky above. No...not death. Not death, but love.
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