Depression
There are times like now (for instance), when all I want to do is crawl away and die. And then there are other times when all I want to do is sing and dance and laugh. It seems like I'm on an emotional tilt-a-whirl, where all I do is flip-flop between wanting to live… and wanting to die… One moment I'll be on top of the world. And the next it feels like it's all crashing down around me. One moment I feel like I can do anything I want and do it right. The next moment I feel like I can't do anything I want to do right. Some people describe life as “An emotional roller-coaster”… And in some ways I think they're right. My emotions seem to fluxuate repeatedly up one moment… And down the next… Sometimes I just want to “stop and get off the ride”… even though I know I can't. Life is like a ride on the tilt-a-whirl… You like the ride at first because it starts out slow but, it keeps going faster and faster till it makes you so sick, that all you want to do is get of the ride and puke… Everything in life moves fast and you've got to stay with it or you're sunk. And if you're sunk you can forget about understanding anything. You've only got one shot, just one shot at life. And for those of us who are depressed, we can't handle it. We might as well be locked up in some psycho ward somewhere, because there's just no turning back… Because once you lose it, it's gone for good. You ain't never gonna get it back. It's just a part of you, that you can never regain. But with a little bit of practice and a little help from others, we can struggle through it and beat it, and learn from it. And one of the things we can learn from it, is to hold on to life for all we are worth, ‘cause we're not gonna get another shot at living. Life is not a game. It's not like a VCR. We can't rewind and go back to a time where we did something wrong and fix it… Real life just don't work that way. I sometimes wish it did but, it doesn't… Why worry about the past, when we can't do anything about it now? It's past, it is now a part of history. And why should we worry about the future, when it hasn't happened yet?... So what's the point? We don't even know what the world will be like then. We need to concentrate on the present, ‘cause that's the only time we can do anything about. Why change the past, when it's all history and in the past?... And why change the future when we're not even there yet?... What we need to do is concentrate on the now… this moment… Not something that won't happen until we are 80… Now is the time that counts… Now is when we've got to live… Not just for other people, but for us… We need to live our lives for ourselves… We live with ourselves everyday. We wake up and see our own faces in the mirror everyday of our lives, not someone else's… That's got to count for something… That's the only thing that we can truly do for us. We've got to do it for ourselves… Or else all is lost….
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